Day 39

I haven't posted in a few days but that is ok.  I realized that it is ok to let a lapse happen when writing a blog...blogging shouldn't be a chore but something to look forward too.  Well I have had a great couple of days.  

Sunday I spent time with Avery, I haven't seen here in what seemed like a long time..but in all honesty it was only a little over a week.  She went swimming, actually she jumped in and got right back out of the cold cold pool, while I was working out for an hour.  I am proud of myself.  I ran 4 miles on the elliptical in 38 minutes and burnt 380 calories.  I also did some weights and I know I strained my right forearm but I rested it for today.  

Monday I spent time with Mori!  She had a hard day on Sunday and we decided to have a her and me day!  It was relaxing, fun and just a breath of fresh air.  We took her car to get new tires, then walked around TJMaxx, Kirklands and got a cupcake from GiGi's Cupcakes.  (Don't even know how to calculate THOSE calories lol)  We then went and got a Boba Drink, I had Taro root which is my favorite.  Those calories sucked too lol.  I used Monday as a major cheat day and I deserved it as much as her.  I think on Sunday I pulled or strained the muscle in my lower right back.  I'm doing a little better now but it still freakin hurts.  Later that day we went and sat by the pool and sun bathed a bit.  I have a slight burn on the left side of my face. Then Camron, Mori and I went and got some sushi from Sake!  It was a great day.

Today...well today I had a slimfast for breakfast and for lunch a Goodcents sandwhich.  I wont be eating that much tonight but that's ok.  I'm still kind of hyped up and jittery from the pain meds I took last night for my back.  Whoever invented heating pads is a miracle worker, just saying.  

My boyfriend bought me this!!  YAY FOR WORKOUTS 

Ok but I do have some recipes!!! COMING SOON!

Day 36.  

"When one approach is not working to reach the desired goal, that's not a reason to abandon the goal. Instead, it is time to devise another approach."------Ralph Marston

I would like to again add to that stupid quote from yesterday.  LOSING WEIGHT IS NOT EASY!!  You have to change so many things you are use to in order to lose what you want.  IT SUCKS!  P.S. I weighed myself for the first time in what...3 weeks? NO CHANGE!  :(  


I rode the bike again today.  10 miles in 27.55 minutes.  I burned 134 calories.  So far I have only eaten 249 calories.  Grrr.  I am using the myfitness app to keep myself on track.  


I have a friend who suggested I eat protein bars, lots of veggies, plain sandwiches on whole grain bread and don't eat out.  Well I have the don't eat out part down :(  I'm not miserable...I'm frustrated.  I'm tired of trying and having NOTHING happen.  I agree that the fact I haven't GAINED anything is a plus and achievement.  


Well I'm sure before the day is out I will workout again.  I need to do arms and the elliptical this evening.  


Later...

Day 35
"Losing weight is easy.  Being motivated enough to do so then sticking with it through completion is the hard part." --Jurine Lewis


Contrary to this quote, I don't believe that losing weight is easy.  I believe that gaining the weight is the easiest part where losing it is unbelievably hard!  But the second half I totally agree with! 


This morning I biked 8 miles in 22 minutes at a level 4 and speed of 85 (average).  Calories I think were in the 200s but I forgot to check.  Oh well.  I am pretty tired...pretty sure it has to do with the fact I took a antihistamine before bed last night and now I'm drowsy.  Lovely :(  


I am still stoked about starting my new job soon.  I'm still hoping I can start next week though.  


Later...I did 4 miles in 40.36 minutes on the elliptical and burned 402 calories.   I was on a roll!  


I had whole wheat pasta for dinner with hunts tomato sauce and some boiled chicken, slightly breaded.

Day 33 Achievement 

Well I feel today was a great day.  I know people saying that running on the elliptical and treadmill is different than running outside.  I understand that but I'm still proud of what I accomplished today.  I ran a mile on the elliptical at level 8 in 8.55 minutes!  I'm very proud of myself.  I burned 111 calories in that run.  Before that I had run 2 miles in 22.36 minutes at level 8 and burned 256 calories.  I was on a role.  I also did weights.  I'm not sure what all the machines are called and what some of the exercises are named but I did enough to make me feel like jello right now.  I'm so proud of myself :)  Now to keep up the MOTIVATION to reach my GOAL!

I had two pizza roll ups which consisted of 322 calories together.  It was a quick and easy snack/meal.  I was honestly full from it.  

I added the turkey pepperoni to the recipe.  

PIZZA ROLL UP

1 8in Whole Wheat Tortilla (mission brand is what I used)

1.5 tbs of Ragu pizza sauce (I guestamated on the amount because I didn't use 1/4 of a cup like it called for...just a light sauce on the tortilla for me...it was about a Tbs.)

1/3 cup (For 2 rolls) sprinkle of fat free or reduced fat mozzarella shredded cheese sprinkled on top of the sauce

then add 5 pepperonis (Hormel Turkey Pepperoni slices)

Microwave on high for 45 seconds or until the cheese is melted.  Roll up and let it cool before you cut it into small bites.  Camron of course just ate it whole lol.

For lunch I had some leftover cabbage and red potatoes. Quite healthy about 115 calories.  There were a few carrots in it as well. 

DINNER!!!  I had Sake salad, hibachi soup and 2 sushi rolls.  I feel I had a pretty healthy day.  Ok I did have some left over chocolate cake (but it was a slice!! AND ONLY A SLICE)

SLEEPY

It was quite a day.  I'm exhausted.  I did go to the mall and find 2 pairs of black pants for my new job!! I hope I can start earlier than the 2nd but we will see!  Fingers crossed!!!!!

Day 32 Courage/Confidence

I have had quite a day.  The rain totally destroyed any aspirations of walking around outside...and when I say rain I mean THUNDERSTORMS OF POURING WATER!  It was quite a miserable day and I had to drive to and from the city in it.  I ended up pulling over once because I couldn't see in front of me.  The reason for me taking this risk was I went to my new job (I love the sound of that) and filled out paperwork for starting and then went and had a drug test done.  That took a couple hours then I treaded back to Norman.  


I chose my words today because of the realization of what my "big kid" job entails.  I worked on my budget and it made me realize that I will be living pay check to pay check.  That isn't always a bad thing I realize that but I would have a little more if I didn't have student loans to pay back.  That's disheartening.  I'm not discouraged by it, but I am concerned.  I will be making an appointment with a financial advisor for sometime this week, I hope.  I have the courage to know I will survive and I'm hoping that my confidence in my courage doesn't blind side me.  

On the health note.  I am going to try some diabetic recipes to see how I like them which means I will be attempting to cut sugar out of my diet.  It seems to be working for my little sister :) so I will see if it works for me :)  I have to admit I did not work out today.  No excuses!  SHAME ON ME!  I'm not even going to say what I ate today...it wasn't much but it sure was high on the calorie scale.  SHAME ON ME!!


Read this article!!
Sugar Free Tips

Day 31 Sunday *Inspiration*

On Thursday I was motivated and had a pretty decent outlook.  Friday it paid off.  I GOT THE JOB AT CHESAPEAKE CHILD DEVELOPMENT CENTER!!  I was in the car with Carolyn on our way to Target and I got the call!  I was so excited that the entire day was amazing!  We were shopping for our St. Patrick's day outfits and they turned out to be CUTE!  Then I decided to celebrate.  Camron and I along with Carolyn and one other headed to Sake!  I had a few appletinis and some sushi and everyone else had habachi!  It was a great night.  I woke up feeling great!  I decided NOT to go get green eggs and ham breakfast at 0700 from O'Connells.  I wanted to sleep and sleep I did for another few hours!

I was motivated...I am now inspired!  I can pay off my credit card, hopefully save enough to get my own apartment and then get my cat from Utah.  I stoked!  I have things to look forward too!  I have been in a great mood all weekend!  Saturday was St. Paddy's day and I had a lot of fun with some friends and then called it a night around 11pm.

St. Patrick's Day 2012

Today I didn't do all that much just wanted to hang out with Camron and we cleaned the apartment.  CLEANED as in dust, vacuum and scrub the counters!  I'm hoping it stays that way for more than a day.  I'm going to call it a night and watch a tv show with my boy!!

Day 28: MOTIVATION

I am starting over.  Everyday I will title my blog with a word or quote that inspires me.
I have let my meal intake slide and it has got to stop.
If I do eat anything outside of my calorie limit I will be eating a small portion (sigh, my St. Patrick's Day Corned Beef and Cabbage and Irish Soda Bread)  Ok maybe I will only have one bowl and one slice!  

Motivation

I woke up this morning with a lovely conversation going on on my Facebook page.  In my opinion I think..no I know I have 3 beautiful wonderful women who have my back and best interests at heart and I am honored to have them in my life.

Motivation.  I should really look into that word.  I need me to motivate myself.  I have a cheering team but it's me who needs to listen to me.

I found this article.  Knowing me, anything about soccer I find fascinating, inspirational and a motivation for me to fight for what I want.
Soccer-Winning Mental Pyramid

I'm going to be honest with myself and with those who read (which right now is only two but that's ok...this is mainly for me.)  My current weight is 153lbs.  I was around 125-130 when I met Camron.  I gained weight after my emergency appendectomy which was understandable.  My stomach was distended, bloated and I hurt to move.  Voila I had a hematoma on top of that.  All in all my body changed.  My intake of food was more than my output and that was NOT my fault or for lack of trying.  My intake was also different...foods didn't taste good to me, I wasn't really all that hungry and when I ate I pecked or sometimes I just didn't eat the right thing.  I could NOT eat beef for almost 6 months and turkey for almost a year.  Strange.  Then in January, only 2 months after my appendectomy, I was in a car accident.  It was the first day of Spring Semester and I had to return a book that I didn't need.  I was rear ended.  The impact of the truck hitting my stopped car at a STOP LIGHT caused my knee to bother me.  After the shock wore off and I was back to normal I realized my knee hurt more than I had thought.  It got worse.  I ended up going to an Orthopedic Surgeon then to physical therapy.  I needed surgery.  I had my surgery almost 2 years later once I exhausted all my other options.  I gained a lot of weight.  I could barley walk let a lone run.  I didn't want to put any kind of pressure on my knee or overexert it because I knew I would pay for it later.  I was a coward.  I became unhappy.  I gained more weight than I ever had in my entire life.  I had people all around me telling me to work through the pain.  Easier said than done.  


In August of 2011 I had my knee surgery.  Excision of Plica is what it was called.  Apparently I have crocked kneecaps, so the impact of the car was a lot more stressful on my knees than expected.  My doctor said he would straighten it out once he removed the plica. VOILA! he didn't have too!  Once he removed the Plica my knee fell back into place!  But boy oh boy I did not want to wake up from the anesthesia.  I hurt so badly then I woke up with tears rolling down my face.  I"M NOT A CRIER AND I CAN MANAGE PAIN VERY WELL.  THIS WAS BAD.  It took several hours before I was able to get it under control with pain meds, and an anti anxiety drug due to my breathing problem setting the beeper off.  My heart races when I'm trying to catch my breath and I can't.  I felt wonderful after that.  My parents took me home and I felt EVERY BLOODY PEBBLE my dad ran over!  I just wanted my bed but was stuck on the couch in the living room.  


I am doing SO MUCH BETTER.  My knee will stiffen and become sore if it is immobile for a while but I can walk with no pain!  I can put pressure on it!  I may need to ice and heat my knee sometimes due to it being sore but I can deal with that.  I can't run still but I can do the elliptical.  The surgery was a success but my extra weight is bringing my confidence down, putting more strain on my knees than necessary, my self-esteem is low and that is not the person I AM! I realize that some things cannot be helped, like the appendectomy and the car accident but my eating habits, my lack of strength to get past the pain more than I did did not help my case.  I gained the weight and it is so much easier to put it on than to take it off.  This is my fight, my struggle.  I have NEVER given up on something and I damn well will not start now.  Believe in me or not (I'm trying to pep talk myself here so shut it) I can do it!  I will do it.  I may not be able to run a marathon anytime soon but I can train like I can!  

My goal is to get back to 125
My achievement would be for me to be at my goal weight and to play soccer again.
I've been running 3 miles in 40 minutes.  I want to run over 3 miles in that time...why 40 minutes? because my brother told me that 20 minutes is the start for the fat burn to kick in.  I may bring up my time to 45 mins or even an hour.  I WILL!

WHEN I can play again I will FIND these and I will ROCK THEM!

Words I need to follow:
Motivation
Goal
Achievement
Confidence
I Am
Persistence 
Faith
Pride
Beauty
Hope
(I will probably add words to my list as the time goes on)

Day 24
Sunday

STUPID DAY LIGHT SAVINGS TIME!!!
I have to admit that last night was the worst night of NON-SLEEP EVER!  I'm tired :(
No...I'm not tired.  I'm exhausted, irritated and edgy.

Anyways...I ended up going to Target and meeting up with Amber!  We chatted about my upcoming interview on Tuesday then proceeded to shop for a bit.  Camron and I then went to Walmart to complete our shopping.  It lasted 3 hours.  RIDICULOUS!

Tonight I made Beef Stroganoff!  It was the best I've ever made!!  Instead of white wine I used Merlot!
Tonight I made 3 lbs of stroganoff instead of 1 so that we could have leftovers!!  I hate the fact that I didn't think about taking step by step pictures till after I ate.  Grrrr.

Erin's Beef Stroganoff

The finished product!! YUMMMY!

1 lb. thinly sliced raw beef                          Large Skillet or Large Pot for meet
3 Tbs butter                                                 Pot for noodles
1 onion, finely chopped
1/2 lb. sliced mushrooms
2. Tbs tomato paste
1 tsp. paprika
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbs flour
1 C. sour cream
1/4 Merlot
1 bag Egg noodles

Melt 2 Tbs butter in large skillet; add onion and mushrooms; cook over medium heat until tender.
Add the sliced beef and cook through, 3 to 4 minutes.

Remove beef and vegetables from liquid, keep warm.
I start boiling the water for my noodles and add them while I make the sauce.
SAUCE:  Add 1 tbs butter to the liquid and let it melt.
Stir in flour.  Now when I first did it it clumped up so I ended up putting the flour in a bowl and added some of the hot water from the skillet to the bowl and stirred till it wasn't clumpy then returned flour mixture to the big skillet.
Add tomato paste, paprika, Worcestershire sauce and 1/4 cup of wine (calls for white but I used Merlot this time and it was the BEST).
Cook over medium heat until thickened.
Remove from the heat and stir in sour cream.
Add the beef mixture and stir completely.
I usually let it sit a bit to let the meat soak up some flavor and wait for the noodles to finish.
Serve over the noodles and enjoy!!!  I add salt to mine when it is on the plate because it varies between people.
I usually serve with a salad as well.

The sauce is reddish so don't worry

Pour yourself a glass while you cook, eat and enjoy!

My egg noodles

I've been tired throughout the day so after I cooked and ate I just felt overwhelmed by exhaustion.  I walked quite a bit today and did a little bit of arms.
I added some new recipies to my cookbook tonight and organized my recipe cards that I bring back to Oklahoma every time I go home to Utah and Washington.  So many amazing cooks in my family that I can't wait to cook every single thing!

I think it's time for me to call it a night and pray that I get to sleep.  Oh please God let me sleep tonight!

P.S.  I missed Army Wives tonight.  I'm quite sad. 

Day 23
Saturday

Well I'm going to start by saying...HI!  No I'm not really in the best of moods but it will get better.  It's all because it's a dreary rainy crappy day.

Started off the day by just lounging in bed thinking of all the things I need to get done.  Did I manage any?  Not really.

I worked out and busted out 3 miles in 39.95 minutes.  I did it on Thursday but better.  3.00 miles in 35mins, burnt 372 calories at a level 8.  Granted today the first 20 I was going the speed average of about 5 and I busted it up to 7 and the last 4 minutes was at a speed of 11.7 and I burnt 420 calories.  I plan on getting it down (the mile time) but I will work on it.
(I realized I didn't put my workout for Thursday in my post so I did it just now.  WOOT)
Also, on Thursday I walked quite a bit on the treadmill, more of a speed walk, and then decided to pick it up to a jog.  That lasted all of 2 minutes since I felt sharp pain in my knee.  THIS BLOWS.  I had my surgery August 11th.  I want to play soccer so badly it depresses me when I pass fields with people playing :(   Please God let me be back on the field one day.

I read that consistency is key and my brother told me that after 20 mins is when your body begins to burn fat.  I'm going to have to get more pointers from him since he is now working as a fitness trainer or something like that at Washington State.  I'm so proud of him.

Once again I just don't feel like I'm losing weight.  SOMETHING would be better than nothing for just a little bit of motivation.  I don't drink, and when I do it is usually one or two beverages and literally once a week.  In a month I think I drink only a social drink here in there so maybe only 4 days?  Something like that.  I don't drink often so I can't really calculate.  I've been eating healthy.  Every once in a while, maybe once every two weeks, I will have some comfort food but I will compromise when it comes to the rest of the day and exercise a lot.  Obviously something isn't working for me :(

I think it is time to do a little research.

Anyways back to today.  Camron and I went to Grandy's and enjoyed a yummy comfort food meal.  Then we went and got his paycheck, paid storage and found my cookbooks.  Good times.
I worked out.
I'm exhausted.

OH I HAVE AN INTERVIEW ON TUESDAY!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!! PRAY I GET THE JOB!! I NEED IT BADLY!!!

Saw this on Facebook!  I'm all about Breast Cancer Awareness.  I've lost two wonderful women due to it.

Day 21
Thursday

It is bloody cold, windy and rainy outside!!  I think I woke up with a dehydration headache so I plan on downing a lot of water this afternoon before I take anything.

So on a side note I feel like my appetite wavers a lot.  Some days I'm just not hungry and I force myself to eat something before I do anything, and other days I'm hungry hungry hippo.  I don't know what all to do, it could be do to the fact that I've wavered on my exercise.  I just need to force myself to do crap when I don't feel like it.  This changing weather is killing my head but I have to get through it.

Side-Side-Note/Pity moment:  I hate looking in the mirror more than half the time.  I can't tell if I'm losing weight because I can't visibly see it.  It sucks when I have tons of water weight and just feel bigger.  UGH ITS FRUSTRATING!!  All I can tell myself is...I'm trying.  My back is looking a lot better so that's a plus.

My problem areas
Face (especially chin/cheeks)
Back
Arms
Stomach
Thighs
Butt

My calves have their soccer shape back and I'm THRILLED!

This was me in 2008, which by the way was my tiniest EVER.  I plan on getting back to this point in my life. I think I was around 115 lbs. here.

2011, this is the biggest I've ever been.  I'm not happy by any means. I refuse to tell my weight here.

So as you can see I went from a drastic skinny in 2008 to a disgusting 2012.  Ok that might be a little harsh on myself.  

Anyways...the picture from 2008 is where I want to be, not where I am now.  I am trying...hopefully I will be succeeding.  

Day 20
Wednesday

Well let's see.  I slept plentiful enough and for a late breakfast I ate the rest of my Mr. Goodcents sandwich. It was a little over a mouthful.  I then cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the living room and finished laundry.  Camron got off for lunch and we had left over thin crust pizza that had veggies, light sauce and cheese on it.  I only had one piece.  So yummy.  Then at 3 I decided it was time to workout.  Went to the gym where I ran a little over 2.5 miles and burned over 200 calories.  I switched between the elliptical and the treadmill.  Speed walking on the treadmill is all I can do without killing my knee and the elliptical I go all out on.  I worked up quite a sweat.  I then did some weights on my arms.  Really need to tone/lose those suckers.

Following the workout I chilled for a bit then decided to make my Grandma's Chicken and Dumplings!!  It was a success!!  Camron thoroughly enjoyed them.  I'm considering whether or not to post the recipe.  The dumplings can be made into spatzel and that recipe my grandma had from her mother from Germany.

Day 19
Tuesday

Not really in the best of moods to post anything right now.  I have just tons to get done and this is just a wee break I'm taking.  I will say that instead of passing out flyers at Papa Johns tonight, I ended up just riding along with Camron while he delivered pizza.  It got me out of the apartment.

That is all

Day 18
Monday


Woke up around 0730
Got out of bed at 0900


Plans for the day equal a lot of computer time, exercise, finish cleaning etc.  We'll see how much I actually get done...


I felt like $#I% all day!  The only thing I was able to eat and not feel like getting sick was a almond butter and raspberry preserves sandwich and a banana.  It was light, it was fine with me.


I was able to get a few things done but nothing too significant that was on my to do list.  I'm a failure right now :(


I went to the dog park with Allie, Carolyn and Camron.  It was a blast but exhausted all my energy.


Dinner I made chicken mozzarella.
Two chicken breasts boiled in sage and sweet basil for about 20 mins
then I mixed 1 egg, a little bit of milk, parmesan cheese and oregano in a bowl
I dipped the breasts in the milk mixture and then dipped them in plain bread crumbs
I placed the chicken on a oiled baking sheet with a little bit of Hunts Tomato Sauce and some Mozzarella sprinkled on top.  I placed them in a 200-350 degree oven just to melt the cheese.
The pasta I had whole wheat linguine.


Overall it was a great meal.  I was exhausted by the end and while Camron was finishing up, I was falling asleep.  I'm pathetic lol


As I'm writing I'm sipping on my Sleepy Time tea and waiting for my sleepy pills to kick in...also I'm watching M*A*S*H YAY!!!!


Oh ON A SIDE NOTE!!!  I was on Gianvi, generic Yaz but since I had to switch from Walgreens to CVS when I filled my prescription they gave me something called Loryna.  WHAT THE HELL!  I did some research and it's the same thing...it took me 3 months to get my body used to the Gianvi, i.e. I was cramping most of the day every day.  What the hell am I going to deal with with this stuff?  I might just call my GYN and make sure my body can handle it.  I really do need the hormones due to the fact I had cysts on my ovaries in high school and also have PCOS.  Women really do get the short end of the stick!

Day 17
Sunday

Well most of my day was spent in pain.  I could barely move thanks to some major stomach pain.  Yay.  Camron thought that a few pieces of salmon sushi would make it feel better...honestly it didn't really phase me.  That's a first.  I was nauseous pretty much all day.  Thanks Eve.  I did laundry and cleaned the kitchen for a bit then ended up just going to bed.

I had oatmeal for breakfast with walnuts and Almond Milk (chocolate)
Sushi (2 rolls spicy salmon)
Large salad with ginger dressing
Hibachi soup

That is all I ate.

OH WAIT.  I did have a double dip rocky road cone.  1. I deserved it 2. It was Sunday and I took a day off Lent.  I have never done that before...it did make me feel a bit better.

Day 16
Saturday


I was able to spend some time with Camron before he had to work at 5.  We pretty much just snuggled for most of it.  


I did a little Zumba today...not much to brag.  I did some laundry and then got ready for Lock's bday at 9. I took him cupcakes!!
We had Oconnells then went to Logan's afterward.  I danced... a lot!  My feet and knees are killing me as I write this, but it was so worth it.  I didn't get home till about 3am.  Overall a great night.

Day 15

Carolyn's bday!!  Happy Birthday Bestie!!  

Birthday Girl

Will in his getup

I spent the early afternoon with Avery at the mall so we could get her a couple pairs of shoes.  It was quite fun!  I had a good time.  Then I ended up going to Taco Bueno where I got Camron and I the fish street taco platter (It's Lent, I can't eat meat). It was really good.  I'm not sure how many calories were there but that's ok.  Avery and I spent some time making the frosting for Carolyn's cupcakes!  Cream Cheese frosting from scratch, I used Buddy Valestro's recipe.  THE CAKE BOSS ROCKS!!  Following that we chatted with Will who came out in the very 70's attire...

Red Velvet cupcakes with homemade cream cheese frosting

Carolyns eyes!

Getting her makeup done!

So Carolyn decided to get our make up done at MAC which turned out that only Carolyn and Layne got theirs done.  That's ok, Carolyn's eyes looked AMAZING!!  We chose purple for her eyes and dang did her eyes pop!  I really liked how the lady combined and used a method that I was unfamiliar with.  I will have to experiment with makeup myself.  

So we were running late, had to quickly go back to Carolyn's so I could change and put my makeup on.  We left and jammed out to Carolny's Birthday Mix cd.  I don't think Will or Camron were that impressed haha.  I'm happy she loved the cupcakes!!  They were quite tasty!  We had dinner at Bourbon Street Cafe and I had Fried Shrimp, oh my Lord was it good!  Camron had the Monica Pasta.  Needles to say it was a great night :)

 Following dinner, I drove Carolyn's car back to Norman and jammed to more music then headed to McNellies.  It was fun!

Day 14


Before I start I must say that figuring out how to SPIFFY UP my blog is taking a lot longer than usual. I used to be pretty good at web design, and as my Grandma-Great would say "Used to Died..move on" well...my skills died along with it.  So I will learn how to create a more "me" blog as soon as I am able.  Feel free to share tips though lol 


Once again I did not sleep well last night, even on the combo of Valerian Root and Melatonin.  I did skip the tea...maybe that was the problem.


For breakfast I had a Meal Replacement Bar: Peanut Butter Crunch by Life Choice.  180 calories.  It held me over till I had lunch.  Lunch was the cold cut platter, which consisted of 5 pieces of whole wheat Melba Toast and 2 oz ham, 2 oz turkey and 1 oz swiss cheese.  I was actually full before I finished.  YAY!!  I had a pudding as well after I waited a bit and had a craving for yummyness.


I tried to take a nap later today, it didn't work.
I tried to exercise more than just take a walk, it didn't work.  IT WOULD WORK IF I HAD THE DAMN ENERGY!  I'm so frustrated.


I talked to my sister and mom today.  I am still very worried about my little sister and considering the events of yesterday I have every right to be.  Apparently the school called my mom at work because the teachers and guidance counselor could not calm her down.  It's hard to escape this guilty feeling of not being in Utah for her.  I'm glad I have great friends to calm me and remind me that there is nothing more than I can do for her whether I'm there or here.  Camron has been a great blessing...I am just blessed to have him in my life.


Camron and I had Filet of Beef, 3oz (you can get them in a two-pack at Walmart).  SO GOOD!!  We had that and a Pasta Side.  That was a guilty pleasure since that is NOT on the diet, but hell it was there and calling our names.


I had sushi from Sushi O tonight...Camron brought me the Japanese Bagel Roll (cream cheese, salmon, chives, rice, seaweed) YUMMY!


I also baked 35 red velvet cupcakes for Carolyn's birthday dinner tomorrow. I will take pictures once I make the icing and finish them up tomorrow.  We are headed to Bourbon Street Cafe!! I love that place and haven't been there since my 23rd bday (wow irony, it's her 23rd and she was there for me!!)


Overall, eating wise I did ok.  On a scale of 1-10 I think I was at an 8.5 today.
Exercise 1-10 I was at a....3 :(  DAMN!


I'm contimplating NOT weighing in tomorrow.


On a personal note...it sucks when you are dieting and having a weigh in schedule and you (preferably women) gain water weight and bloat because God hates women and thinks we should suffer 3-5 days a month. So on that note...I'm not 100% sure I want to weigh in tomorrow because of that fact..my time has come and my body knows it.  UGH!

Day 13 (I'm a bad blogger at times)


I didn't have a chance to post anything on Monday (Day 11).  I spent the evening with my high school bestie in Moore and we had Grandy's for dinner...DON'T JUDGE!  Before that however Carolyn and I busted butt on the elliptical and treadmill at the Commons Gym.  I don't remember how many calories I burned but I do remember my adrenaline was on FIRE and I used it to my benefit!  I had a great workout.  


After I got home I chilled for a bit and then Carolyn came over to Camron's and we did Brazilian Butt Lift...that lasted a little bit cause Camron came home and I was embarrassed lol.  Following some Zumba (and this one is the Zumba Fitness DVD that Camron downloaded, not the Kinect) we called it quits.  We learned some Bollywood dancing, it was actually fun!!

Carolyn and I enjoying a drink and a movie

Camron and I
February 2012

Ended up watching "What's Your Number"  HAHAHA watch it!  and had a few drinks.  Overall it was a pretty fun, relaxing and tiring day.  


Tuesday I stayed in bed due to lack of sleep.  My insomnia kept me up all night and I had absolutely NO ENERGY.  so LAST night I took 3 Valerian Root pills and 3mg Melatonin pills, followed by Sleep Time Tea.  I WAS OUT TILL NOON!!!


Ok so seriously Day 13.  
I woke up to a horrible voicemail from my little sister in Utah.  After school I was able to get a hold of her...she informed me, through lots of hysterics, that  a good friend of hers died.  She found out later in the  day that he committed suicide by shooting himself.  How heart wrenching.  My sister was close to this young man, and my heart breaks for her.  I spent the day worrying about her well-being.  My sister has RND Reflex neurovascular dystrophy which is:

a painful neurovascular disease that constricts the blood veins and reduces the supply of oxygen to the skin, muscles and bones. RND is the pediatric version of Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. This lack of oxygen can cause acid to build up, causing new pain that is then sent back through the cycle to cause the neurovascular nerves to constrict the blood flow again. If untreated, the pain caused by RND can become so severe that it interferes with the patient's ability to move the affected body part. For example, if a patient had RND in his leg, he would develop problems walking. In 90% of RND cases, only one or two areas of the patient's body are affected. In the other 10%, RND affects the patient's entire body. Many full-body cases start normally in one or two areas, but progress and spread over time. RND is more common among girls than boys (80% of children with RND are girls). A rare symptom of RND is nausea, causing the child to vomit on a daily basis.

RND can be caused by musculoskeletal inflammatory diseases such as arthritis. Reflex Neurovascular Dystrophy can not be brought on by stress; it can ONLY be AMPLIFIED by stress once RND is already present in the patient. Stress may continue to play a major role in RND even after the child has RND under control. It can relapse if the child feels depression, a lack of acceptance by society, or is injured. 

The best known treatment of RND is extreme physical therapy. There are several such programs, including Children’s Hospital in Seattle, Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation in Grand Rapids, Michigan, The Children's Institute of Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, The Pediatric Rehab Unit at The Children's Hospital at Legacy Emanuel in Portland, Oregon, and the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). In a typical course of therapy, the child is put through 5 to 7 hours of therapy including intensive physical, occupational and pool and/or yoga therapy. While often painful, such therapy helps to improve blood flow and break the RND cycle. The therapy usually lasts between 2–4 weeks before the child has the RND under control. Small relapses and flare ups may occur, usually only during 5 years of the treatment, which is the average time until the child is pain free, though RND can continue to occur and may never cease.

My beautiful sister Veronica at Sake with Camron and I June 2011.  She helped me drive back to Utah for my knee surgery.  :)  She loves Sake!!

Needless to say I'm worried that this will cause her to have another RND attack.  She has been to Seattle for treatment before and I know how much she dreads it. 


So today I am emotionally and physically exhausted.  On top of my sister, Camron has had a bad day and Carolyn has been sick.  I'm hoping she gets better soon since her BIRTHDAY IS ON FRIDAY SO SHE ISN"T ALLOWED TO BE SICK!! GEEZ!!  But anyways, I've had Veronica in my thoughts and prayers.  


I did run on the elliptical for a bit tonight but my knee was just really sore so I ended up speed walking on the treadmill for a bit.  I also did some Zumba tonight.  I'm burned out today.  So tomorrow I will be kicking butt on my diet and the exercise.  No ifs, ands or buts about it.  :)